I. A modest glass of wine has ten times the antioxidants of the most powerful cosmetics yet a fraction of the price and the added benefit of being applied “internally”.
II. Wine has been a facilitator in all of our most successful courtships.
III. Wine stimulates romance and lubricates procreation while simultaneously lubricating romance thus stimulating procreation.
IV. If there is no fire in the hearth, a bottle of wine will add fire to the heart of any gathering.
V. Wine loosens both the ligaments and cerebellum thus bestowing the ability to tango upon just about everybody.
VI. Wine darkens the molars so your superiors won’t always see you laughing at how seriously they take themselves!
VII. Wine is essential to the curing of any broken heart.
VIII. Wine sharpens the vision allowing many a man to see things he shouldn’t– and not see things others thought he should have!
IX. A wine soaked soul is inflammable and therefore cannot burn in hell!
X. Wine adds weight to the girth of a man, reminding those carrying his remains of how much he endeavoured to enjoy his life.
okay there’s eleven!!
XI. Wine’s aromas alone stimulate memories of holiday romances, memorable get togethers, forgotten liasions, lost loves and broken promises!